"And you would accept the seasons of your heart just as you have always accepted that seasons pass over your fields and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief." - Kahlil Gibran
In chronological order... not order of importance. :)
My 26th Birthday
Started off right with a delicious lunch at my friend, B's home, where we were welcomed with a happy birthday sign and her expensive china. We had a fun time as usual being together and watching our littles play. The unfortunate thing that I just realized is that she and I never get our picture taken together, because we're always the ones snapping away. I think we need to make that a priority next time we're together. We mama friends need at least one picture together!
My two loves took me out to dinner on my birthday evening to Electric Cheetah. It. was. delicious. A close second to our favorite Marie Catrib's. The Electric Cheetah has the best sweet potato fries and over 30 brews of root beer.
He LOVES to use dips... and he does it just right. So gentle.
These pictures crack me up, because he's wearing the same sweater.
Left: 15 months old & Right: 3 months old
My honey got me these lovely dickersons and a few other things for my birthday... LOVE.
Royal Wedding Teas
Because when a Prince and Princess decide to get hitched... it gives us an excuse to get together, eat scones, wear tiaras, and pretend each of us are as pretty in white and princess-y as Prince William's Princess. Aunt Krystal had her sister, mom, and nieces over for a princess slumber party the night before the wedding, and she invited us over the morning of the wedding to join in on the early morning breakfast and watch the wedding at 5:00am! It was a blast! We all were clad in our jammies, smeared makeup and tiny tiaras on our heads. Aunt Krystal went all out with a Royal Wedding menu featuring two different kinds of quiche, fruit, scones, and sparkling juice.
Watching every move of William and Kate...
Grandpa & Baby Buckingham#2
We received word on Sunday evening, May 1st, that Grandpa Lasley had decided to end his dialysis. He was a fighter. He'd been doing dialysis five times a day for about a year and a half, and his kidneys were to a point that they were no longer accepting the dialysis like they should. The doctors told him that they were sorry, but there just wasn't anything else left to do to help him feel better. Just a few days after hearing this news from the doctors was when he decided to quit. I knew I just had to make a trip South to see Grandpa while he was still alert and well and before the toxins took his life. I decided to leave (without Breck or BrettRyan) Monday morning and stay until Tuesday afternoon so that I could be back by Wednesday for our ultrasound to find out the gender. I am so incredibly thankful I went when I did... because the entire afternoon I was there on Monday, Grandpa seemed to be in good spirits, joking, smiling, and conversing. He was sleeping when I arrived, and as I walked over beside him, he woke up, looked up at me, grabbed my hand and said Well, my goodness, Amber! We hugged and caught up a bit. He seemed worried that I drove down all by myself. I told him that I had to and that I just couldn't wait to see him. He mentioned that I looked good with my pregnancy and that I seemed to be carrying the baby smaller than when I was pregnant with Breck. I told Grandpa that we'd be finding out the gender on Wednesday. When asked what he thought the baby was, without a hesitation he nodded his head, and matter-of-factly said, girl, and smiled. He didn't have a doubt. :) He joked a few times while we were there, and at one point said that he felt like a free man since stopping his dialysis. He was at peace with his decision. The next morning (Tuesday) when Mom and I arrived, Grandpa was like a different person... shaking, sobbing, and saying that he was hurting all over. He had taken his oxygen off that morning and refused to put it on, eat, or take any medication. We finally convinced him that it's ok that he didn't want to prolong it, but he could be made comfortable at the same time. He just kept crying and saying that he just wanted to be at peace, and be with Grandma and Uncle John. Who can blame him? In a way, it made it easier knowing he was so ready. It's certainly sad to think of life without him, his gentle ways, his cute farmer accent, his stories of the farm, and his predictable How you makin' it? greeting, but wanting to keep him here would be selfish. The nurses did get him some medication to settle him down and make him comfortable. I dreaded time moving forward as I watched Tuesday afternoon creep up, knowing I had to say goodbye to him for the last time. When I got ready to leave, I went over to him, and told him I was going to need to start back home, and that I loved him very much. He said that he loved me too and he began to cry as he said You be careful driving home by yourself, Amber. I assured him I would and that we'd call him in the morning to let him know if the baby was a boy or a girl. He replied with a weak chuckle and said, I sure hope it's a girl! And that was it. The last time I heard his sweet southern voice. It was hard to walk out of that room without too obviously craning my neck back to take one last glance of him with life inside, knowing that the next time I saw him would guaranteed be one in which his spirit and soul were gone. But thank goodness for the hope of Heaven, and that he knew for sure where he was going. Jesus was calling him home.
I was very ready to get home and see BR and Breck even though it had only been twenty some hours. MomB said Breck was rather lost without me and that there were several times it seemed as though he was wondering the house to try to find me. I arrived back home Tuesday evening to a very tired baby with a blank stare that said And where have you been? The emotions that evening were quite strong... knowing I'd just said goodbye to Grandpa a few hours before, tucking my baby in the last night before we found out what kind of dynamic our family would experience in just a few short months, and knowing that in a few hours we'd get to share with the new generation of grandparents what their next grandchild would be.
Oh the disappointment and frustration that set in Wednesday morning as we were literally walking out the door to go to the appointment, and got a phone call from the doctors office saying that the ultrasound technician had some kind of an emergency and that we'd have to reschedule. RESCHEDULE?, I wanted to scream. We can't reschedule! For SO many reasons, lady. But rescheduled we did. For Friday morning at 9:15.
Friday morning, at 2:00am, my phone rang. I hate that stinging, adrenaline rush that pierces my stomach any time my phone rings at that hour of the night. It was Mom. She somberly shared that Grandpa went to Heaven around 1:15am. She's so strong even in the midst of just watching her Dad leave this tangible earth. As soon as I hung up from Mom. It hit me, and I said to BrettRyan, Oh my goodness... we didn't get to tell him about the baby! The tears came.
What a crazy combination of emotions we experienced Friday. Excitement and anticipation of finding out what our second born child would be, but at the same time grieving over the loss of Grandpa. It sort of like the seasons analogy again... with the harsh cold winter eventually comes new life in the spring. When one who has lived 87 good years comes to the end of life, a new life takes form and brings life and hope to a grieving family.
So. There we were in the dimly lit ultrasound room. Warm jelly on my stomach, BrettRyan holding my hand, while I lie on my back, looking over my shoulder at the monitor to see my baby. My baby that is in the same womb my first baby resided for nine months. What an honor and a miracle to be a Momma. I began to get all giddy when I saw my little baby's profile on the monitor. So exciting and precious. And how amazing it was to feel him/her moving around inside of me, but also seeing him/her move on the monitor during the ultrasound!
The ultrasound tech clarified that we did indeed want to find out the gender. So as she was examining "the area" she said, So you have a what at home? I replied, A boy. She said, Sooo you need aaaa... I KNEW IT! I knew what she was going to say, and I thought I saw it with my own eyes before she even said it. She finished... So, there's your little GIRL! I immediately just started saying Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!, over and over again. I began and cry, pretty hard. We wanted a girl SO bad this time, but just didn't allow ourselves to get too excited incase it was a boy. We were getting a GIRL! I lost count how many times we said, I can't believe we're having a girl! And Grandpa knew! He knew it was a girl! How very special! It was great to be able to call Mom later that morning with some news to surprise her and cheer her up. She said she was glad to get some great news on such a sad day.
Here's the proof!
Here are some 4Ds of our sweet baby girl!
She's a cutie!!!
Love it that Breck is already sharing his closet with his little sissy. And I must confess that the little glimmer of pinks and oranges up against a big closet of blues and browns makes my heart very, very happy! I am so very excited to see Breck with a little sister, I can only imagine how he's gonna show her his love.
My Mom gave me one of my baby outfits with matching booties and two bonnets on Mother's day for our little lady. I can't wait to dress her in my baby clothes, and paint her nails and toes in the hospital!
Breck's 1st Real Hair Cut
Mommy and Grammy did a little collaboration on Breck's hair together. Well, it was more like Grammy was teaching Mommy how to be fast and confident on an antsy todder who does not get the concept of sitting still for a hair cut. We LOVE the new look! It's totally boy.
Before...
After...
Celebrating Mother's Day
We celebrated Mother's day with the Buckingham side of the family on Saturday at Clementines in South Haven. We had a great lunch together, and enjoyed browsing Oh My Darlings, children's store before eating. It was a blast! They had things in there for boys and girls, but there was definitely an obvious favor to pink over blue in the store. Something dangerous for a Momma who just found out she's got a pretty little lady inside of her!
Nanna Anna's face pretty much exemplifies what each of us felt like as we walked up the stairs and into the pink, and tulle, and sequins, and everything girl.
The boy didn't know what to do with butterflies, and tutus, and dolls, but one thing boy does know how to do is to stir up some pretend tea and nibble on a fake cupcake jewelry box. He helps Momma in the kitchen all of the time, so it makes sense punkin went strait for the tea pot. :)
Weekend of Celebrating Grandpa
We left South Haven and continued South to Mamaw and Papaw's house... just in time to have dinner with the family. We had dinner together, shared ultrasound pictures, and laughed over a long game of Pictionary.
It took Dylan a few minutes of studying the ultrasound pictures, but he so got it! And the look on his face was priceless once he figured out what he was looking at.
Even though my sweet Mom had to spend her first Mother's Day without her Mother, at the funeral home for the viewing of her Father, we were able to escape Mother's Day evening at the park to celebrate Mom. Mom is so strong! I know she and Dad enjoyed watching the grandboys play together at the park. :)
Just moments before this picture was taken, Breck was traumatized by the speed of the kiddie slide and the bonk he got on his head on the end of the slide. So I thought I'd go with him on the big slide to cure him of his fears.
I think it worked even though he didn't want to admit it. :)
The boys were in awe of the huge choo-choo train that went right by the park.
These pictures make me laugh. I could almost guarantee Breck was saying "Go! Go!"
Love this picture of Holly and Bro. The trust in Bro's eyes is priceless!
Missing Grandpa
The funeral for Grandpa was very nice. I love what the minister said about Grandma and Grandpa. He admitted that he hadn't known them very long, but that they were the kind of people once you met them, you wished you could have known them longer. It's so true. They were the sweetest, kindest people I have ever known. I don't ever remember either of them saying a single negative thing about anyone. I want to leave a legacy like they left us, and I'm so glad that I shared with Grandpa my intentions of carrying on their traditions. I'm so glad BrettRyan was able to know them as long as he did, and I know Grandma and Grandpa both loved him like their own grandson. It was a beautiful day for Grandpa to be laid right where he wanted to be... next to his bride. I'm so proud to be able to say that Esther May Lasley and John Edgar Lasley Jr. were my grandparents, and I do pity the people who never had a chance to know them.
These two pictures are all the more sweeter to me now.
They will be missed greatly, but they taught us to "Love Always."
Instead of focusing on the sad winters behind us, I will chose to be encouraged by the current spring around us. And I believe with all my heart that is exactly what Grandma and Grandpa would want us to do.
Beautiful Hydrangeas Mom and Dad gave me for Mother's Day!
